An old hillbilly farmer with a severe case of hemorrhoids visited the doctor. The doctor prescribed some very powerful suppositories and asked the man to come back in a couple of weeks. The old farmer hadn't used suppositories before, and didn't realize they weren't a pill to be taken orally. Two weeks later, the old farmer, in even more discomfort from the hemorrhoids, sees the doctor again. The doctor asks him how the suppositories are working? The old farmer says, "For all the good they did me, I might as well have shoved them up my ass!"

Why do they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. (Apologies to anyone who's offended - but it IS funny, which is the only valid test of a joke; if it's funny and someone is offended by it, considering WHY they're offended even though it's a joke can provide insight into their attitude toward the topic.) "I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce" - Paul Simon.

Magazine Bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

Prudhomme's Law of Window Washing It's on the OTHER side.

Yo momma is so poor, she hangs the toilet paper out to dry!

A little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts." "Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what you mean." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."

"So," Jane asked the detective she had hired. "Did you trail my husband?" "Yes, ma'am, I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment." A big smile crossed Jane's face. "Aha! I've got him!" she said gloating, "Is there any doubt what he was doing?" "No ma'am," replied the sleuth, "It's pretty clear that he was following you."

Can You Decipher This Phrase? pu Back up!

Can you decipher the following common phrase? AND ED Underhanded!

There was once a boy born named Jeff. When Jeff was born, he only had a father, since his mother had died giving birth, and as a result, he was also an only child. His father looked at his new son, proud over his new baby's good looks and wise looking appearance. The father had high hopes for his baby. Soon, Jeff was already 4, and was sent to the local preschool. There, although the teachers said that he was a little misbehaved, still socialized a lot and made many friends. As a result, Jeff made his father proud of his son. When summer came and preschool ended, the father asked his son what he wanted as a present for making him so proud. Jeff thought a second and replied, "I want a yellow

Yo momma's lips are so big, she made Angelina Jolie jealous!

"Ciao amico, desidero comprare un mazzo di banane." "Il compagno spiacente, questo è un farmacista."