If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit? Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? Can you make a candle out of your earwax? When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Can a fire truck park in the fire lane? Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time? "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute? Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? Are marbles made of marble? Why does the last piece of ice always

A nun walks into a liquor store and asks to buy a fifth of whiskey. She says it's for Mother Superior's constipation, so the owner says ok. She buys the booze and leaves. Two hours later, the owner closes store and walks through the park on his way home. As he's walking, he spots the same nun sitting on a park bench, roaring drunk. "Shame on you, Sister", he says, "I thought that whiskey was for Mother Superior's constipation." "It is," she slurrs. "When she sees me, she'll crap!"

A first-time father was taking a turn at feeding the baby some strained peas. Naturally, there were traces of the food everywhere, especially on the infant. His wife comes in, looks at the infant, then at her husband staring into space, then says, "What in the world are you doing?" He replied, "I'm waiting for the first coat to dry, so I can put on another."

The king had a powerful army. He reined for 7 years before clearing the clouds!!!

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!!!................................ its funny cause the robot doesnt have any legs

There was a Polish man and an American on the street corner. The American man wanted to see if the Polish really were stupid. The Polish man replied, "No, you stupid American, we are not." The American then puts his hand in front of a metal pole, and tells the Polish man, he's sorry to hit him for it. When he goes to hit him, the American moves his hand, leaving the Polish man crying. The Polish man then puts his hand in front of his face and says, "What now?" The Polish man went to the hospital. The entire time he was there, he insisted he screw the room lightbulb in himself.

Only in America can a poor black boy turn into a rich white woman... (Michael Jackson)

Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it. Chuck Norris was once a knight in King Arthur's court. He was known as Sir Beatdown. Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated. In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Chuck Norris was coming. Chuck Norris has never looked a baby in the eyes cause it might him cry but if he does it also makes him want to punch a baby. Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet. Before sliced bread, people used to say "Th

Q :whats the best thing about children? A :making them!!

Yo momma is so old, that she cooked the last supper!

The 1st blonde says-"I hate you!I never want to see you again." The smarted 2nd twin says-"You idiot!Then don't look in the mirror!" The 1st says-"Why can't I look in the mirror?" The 2nd says-"Because we're twins and we look exactly the same!"

There was a child named Laura. She asked her mom what the hardest report she ever had to do was. Her mom said, "It was to write an essay on the belly of a frog." Laura said, "Wow!!How did you get the frog in to the typewriter?"