Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.

Yo Momma so stupid, she tried to cut through a safe with a Laser Tag gun!

A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Dave." "Who?" "This guy named Dave. He always did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave." "There are always a few clouds over everybody." "Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros, too. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star." "He was something, huh?" "Oh, you don't know the half of it. He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on Sundays." The man thinks: "What does a priest know of sex?" He goes to a minister, a married man, experienced, for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply; Sex is work and not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge - A rabbi. The rabbi ponders the question and states, "My son, sex is definitely

A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was holding up traffic and not going. She responded well the sign told me to stop but it doesn't want to let me go.

Yo momma so fat, she tripped on 4th Ave. and she landed on 12th!

What is the answer to this riddle? What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die? A: Nothing

Yo momma so fat she uses a dump truck as a toilet!

What do PSP's and Michael Jackson have in common? The both get turned on by little boys!!!

The squirrel's eyes widened as he tried to move but froze when he realized........ He'd buried the wrong nuts!

Q.) Why do homeless people love to go to church? A.) There is always free water.

My goal is to find a soulmate. It's not cheating, just multi-tasking.