Popular Jokes
Blond: Daddy! I know my alphabet!
Dad: That took you 5 yaars!
Blond: I know, but now I know my ABD's!
I bought a book called "How to Hug," and when I got it home, found it was volume 7 of an encyclopedia.
I phoned the gym, and asked if they could teach me to do the splits. The girl asked if I was flexible, and I said I couldn't do Tuesdays.
Two blond adventurers were on holiday, and went to see Niagara Falls.
After a few drinks one night, one bet the other $500 he couldn't carry him across the falls on a tightrope.
After a very scary trip, his friend managed to stagger safely across, and the wager was duly paid.
"That was close," said the loser. "When you wobbled, halfway across, I was sure I'd won."
Yo momma's so stupid, when they said "Drinks are on the house!" She went and got a ladder.
Yo mama is so greasy
Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!
Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco!
Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happ
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