A boy named Ronald bought a Xbox for Christmas. 7 months later, the Xbox broke. He knew he needed to replace it with a new one, but the shop where he bought it was closed down in favor for a shoe store. He went to the new console shop which was just a kilometer away. He saw an Xbox and he knew he got enough money for it, so he said he wanted an Xbox and the cashier said: "Your Xbox will be delivered in 2 or 3 days." In 2 days, the doorbell rang. He knew it is the Xbox he ordered. Outside was a man with glasses, holding a box where Ronald thought inside was an Xbox, but when he opened it, he was shocked. It was a box marked with an X on the cover and inside was a game for Xbox only. Thus a

One day little Susie, who is a blond(since this is in the 'blond' category), was at her grandma's house. She had been there for about two days and today grandma isn't feeling very well. The grandma is in bed, coughing and it isn't getting any better. The Grandma tells little Susie to go to the pharmacist and get some syrup for her cough. So little Susie goes to the local pharmacy and she buys the syrup. The clerk tells her to remember to 'SHAKE WELL BEFORE USE'. Susie goes back to the house and moments later, the ambulance has arrived and the doctors are trying their best to save poor granny. When they questioned Susie about what happened, she says "Well, the clerk at the pharmacy and th

How Many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? 1:Let's go ride our bikes! 2:Hey look! A squirrel.

Post-Soviet Russia. Rabinovich calls the Pamyat headquarters: "Is it true that we Jews sold out Mother Russia?" In return he hears an affirmation accompanied by antisemitic slurs. "Oh good. So where can I get my share?"

A Jewish man in a hospital tells the doctor he wants to be transferred to a different hospital. The doctor says "What's wrong? Is it the food?" "No, the food is fine. I can't kvetch." "Is it the room?" "No, the room is fine. I can't kvetch." "Is it the staff?" "No, everyone on the staff is fine. I can't kvetch." "Then why do you want to be transferred?" "I can't kvetch!"

How did the person take over the remote? He asked for remote CONTROLS!

An elderly couple (BATTERY AND BOODLER) was attending mass. About halfway through, BOODLER leans over and says to BATTERY, "I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?" BATTERY replied, "That was sexy. Put a new battery in your vibrator; then let's go home and fuck our brains out."

Doctor: What is it that brought you here? Patient: An ambulance. Why?

One time I was walking and I saw a deer then a turkey comes out and the turkey and deer interact by speaking in human words then all of a sudden a really bright light formed and the deer and turkey have fused to make a durkey a dear and turkey combined it has a head of a deer and the body of the turkey after that this was on the news and they said it could be seen from Africa(No permanent eye damage was reported)so then a passer by the next day(I was in that same area where the turkey and deer fused)took the durkey and that guy who ate it became that same turkey(The one the deer talked to before fusing)but the good ole friend the deer was gone that passer by became the turkey but the deer go

Miley Cyrus shaves more often than Justin Bieber. It seems he is using her older sisters in his videos. Most of the Justin's concert are free because no one is willing to pay for it. Police are now using Justin Bieber's songs as torture devices. Even deaf cannot resist the song of Justin Bieber. Kim Kardashian received death threats from Justin Bieber fans after he jokingly tweeted that she was his girlfriend. One Justin Bieber fan tweeted that she will use her lunch money to hire a hit man. Q. What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga ? A. One of them has balls and it ain't Bieber. Justin Biebers new song is "if i were a boy". You've got to feel sorry for JB ........

Q. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills? A. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.

What is more stupid then a brunette trying to start a fire in a pool? A blonde trying to put it out.