Popular Jokes
A blond goes into a pizza shop for a snack. She orders, "May I have a veggie pizza slice with all the works?"
The worker says, "That would be our combo pizza."
The blond says, "No, thanks. I'll stay with the veggie slice."
Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."
Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.
Yo mama's so dirty, the US Government uses her bath water for chemical weapons
Yo mama' so hairy, when she goes to the circus the bearded lady protests against non-union workers.
Yo mama's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.
Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
What happens if you pop the popcorn upside down?
Why aren't HAMburgers made out of ham?
And my favorite:
Donde estan mis pantalones?
Yo Momma's so fat, when she walks down the street and hums, the kids all run after her, waving money and yelling, "Ice Cream truck! Ice Cream truck!"
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday.
He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"
She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."
"My goodness," he says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the accountant, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
1. During recess time,
I like skipping rope.
When I skip I shout a rhyme,
And jump with all my hope.
2. I didn't study for the test even though I should've.
I was playing PS2 and I would've,
so I copied off of yours,
I got them all wrong,
so now I sing this song. (sing over and over this is an endless song.)
3. Some gum chum?
It's watermelon,
although I chewed it some,
and it is jerybellum. (jerybellum - bubble gum co.)
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