Popular Jokes
A boy asked to his girl friends:
What does a gay cow eat?
all of his friends failed to answer.
Then he stood up, and with a gay-est falsetto voice he said: Haaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!
A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
you think of, Sergeant?"
"I think somebody stole the damn tent."
I don't get why we teach little kids the popular saying
"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."
And we wonder what is with all the violence? I mean come on that's like 100% emo.
Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back."
"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello."
"I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"
A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender, give me a triple shot of Jack!".
The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar, and says, "Another".
The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says, "Another".
As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"
The man says, "Ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."
The bartender says "Geez, what did you say?."
The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywher
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