Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: "What's a lightbulb?"

Why can't Osama sleep with any of his 5 wives? Because all he sees is bush.

What is the difference between a drunk and a druggie? Drunks run a stop sign and druggies stop at it and wait till it turns green.

I went into a restaurant that served 'breakfast at any time'. So, I asked for French Toast in the time of the Renaissance

Yo Momma is so dumb she can't get the ball to touch the ground.

yo momma so dumb that she went to the movies and after they told her under 17 not permitted she went back and got 16 more friends.

Angie and John were in court after deciding their divorce when the problem of 'who gets to keep the kid' started to arise. Angie exclaimed that the child was hers since she could take care of the kid better than her 'wretched' husband. But the judge wanted to hear John's reason of why he should keep the baby. After thinking for sometime, John said, "Your honor, let me ask you a question: if you put a dollar inside a vending machine and a coke comes out, does this coke belong to you or does it belong to the vending machine?"

Yo momma is like a brick. She's flat on all sides and gets laid all day.

Yo momma can be used as a weapon: she's so ugly, she'll blind house robbers!

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control. 2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game. 3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand". 4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them. 5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. 6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say. 7. Women need to fe

PIANO PLAYER: "Do you think I have a gift for playing?" LISTENER: "No, but I'll give you one for stopping!"

A priest and a minister were going on vacation (seperately) when their flight got postponed. They meet each other and deside to go across the street to a bar until their flight. Little did they know, it was a gay bar. When a man started hitting on the priest he grew fruious and the gay man stalked off. A little while later a big, buff man walks over to the priest and says "Why the Hell did you start screaming at my boyfriend for no reason?" The minister, seeing that the priest was at a loss of words, takes the big man out of earshot of the priest and talks to him. After he comes back without the big man, the priest asks him, "What did you say to him?" The minister calmly repies "I told him