Popular Jokes
Five year old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by.
She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home, because he was performing an appendectomy.
"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?"
"Sure! Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anesthesiologist!"
Mary took her husband Bernie to see a psychiatrist for a check up. After examining him, the doctor took Mary to one side and said, "I have some very bad news for you. There is nothing I can do to help your husband. His mind has completely gone."
"I'm not really surprised," Mary replied, "Bernie's been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 50 years."
When my pap was younger, his family didn't have much money. One year for Christmas, his mother cut a hole in the front of his underwear so he would have something to play with.
Every day, Mr. Koch has to cross the river by ferry in order to get to work.
Waking up late one morning, he dressed quickly, ran out the door and raced to the dock. The boat was several yards away, and stepping back and taking a mighty leap, Mr. Koch landed with a crash on the deck.
"Made it!" he cried triumphantly.
"So?" said one of the passengers, "What was the rush? The boat is coming in."
There was a blonde in Wal-mart and she went up to a man.
The blonde said, "Hi! Do you know what IDK means?"
The man said, "I don't know."
Then the blonde said, "DARN! Nobody knows!"
Q: How many Clowns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Paid Clowns - 5
Boys in school - 1000
A kid named Ron lost his mom and dad. He went to the hospital to say, "I wanna baby! Waaaaaaaaaaa!" The nurse said, "You're a male! Males don't have babies! And you're too young!" He died by biting his finger really hard.
A male teenager went out to his favorite band concert "The Hearts of Heaven". They have very cool songs but their singer's life would end the very next night.
The next night, they made their next concert which is in the capital of the teenager's country. It wasn't very far. He went to the concert and enjoyed the songs, but one made him a bit twitchy. It was called "Take my heart out". The song made the teenager go to the singer's house, and take his heart out. All the other band members tried to stop him but he also got their hearts. He put them in a small box.
Later the police found out that one of the windows of the house was stained with blood. They went in and took a look. He saw that
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