Yo mama's so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked "What's New?"

1. During recess time, I like skipping rope. When I skip I shout a rhyme, And jump with all my hope. 2. I didn't study for the test even though I should've. I was playing PS2 and I would've, so I copied off of yours, I got them all wrong, so now I sing this song. (sing over and over this is an endless song.) 3. Some gum chum? It's watermelon, although I chewed it some, and it is jerybellum. (jerybellum - bubble gum co.)

What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? We taste like chicken!!

Boy: May I hold your hand? Girl: It isn't very heavy. I think I can carry it myself.

Yo momma was so fat that when she went to do her daily running, her body was moving but she wasn't.

John got off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. "I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Spot, my dog, while you're waiting?" He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through." The dog followed John onto the balcony and started rolling over. John made a hoop with his arms and Spot jumped through--over the balcony railing. Just then John's date walked out. "Isn't Spot the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" "To tell the truth, " he replied, "Spot seemed a little depresse

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he had bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry," said the auctioneer, "he can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

This guy loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. If you missed a ferry late at night, you had to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan. So, when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck. He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?" "Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock."

Why does President Clinton invite so many ladies into his private study? He wants to show them his executive branch.

Yo Mamma so stupid, she wanted to go on a roller coaster and looked at the height, and she was too tall.

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion. Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards. Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten. Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill. The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy! For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls. Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse

You might think that some guys are hot. Their boyfriends think that, too!