Popular Jokes
Little johnny walked into a club where people were doing the macarena. He watched them for a while, and asked someone: "What are you guys doing? Searching for your wallets?"
Goldilocks was walking along one sunny afternoon when she found a beautiful house in the woods. The door was open, so she walked right in. There she found a table set with three bowls of steaming porridge. "Hello?" she called out, but no one was home. She tried the first bowl, but it was too hot. She tried the second bowl, but it was too cold. Then she tried the third bowl, and it was just right.
"Wow," she said, once she had finished the meal. "Now I'm feeling very sleepy." So she wandered around looking for a bed. She couldn't find one anywhere on the bottom floor.
Finally, she found a staircase at one end of the house. She climbed up the steps and went into the first room. Th
A blonde was driving her brand new, VERY expensive, Mustang convertible, when she saw her brunette friend. She thought that this was her chance to brag about it, so she drove over to her.
The brunette recognized her, and said, "Hey!" The blonde smiled; this was her chance. She said, "Hey, look what I got that you don't have!" patting her convertible.
The brunette smiled sweetly back and said, "Well, look what I got that YOU don't have," patting her brain.
This little boy asked his mother one day why his father had no hair.
His mother replied, "Well dear, that's because he thinks alot."
Having prided herself with coming up with such a wonderful answer she heard her son say,
"Gee mommy I'm sure glad you don't think 'cause you'd look funny with no hair!"
A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..."
A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on the beach.
The marriage counselor told him, "If you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."
Nobody can breathe out of their nose and mouth at the same time.
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You know, 95% of the people who read this try to do it...well, it's impossible!!! DUH!!!! (lol)
What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure can pick tomatoes!
What's black, has white eyes and knocks on glass? A black in a microwave.
Why don't blacks like blow jobs? They don't like any job.
What do you call two Vietnamese in a TransAm? The gooks of hazard.
Did you hear about the polish Lesbian? She LOVED men.
Why are Jewish men circumcised? Jewish women don't buy anything unless it's 20% off!
What's the only food that ruins your sex life? Wedding cake.
What do you call a Filipino contortionist? A Manila folder.
How do you make a black man nervous? Take him to an auction.
Did you hear about the two Mexicans who appeared on "That's
A general store owner hired a young female clerk who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties.
One day a young man entered the store, glanced at the clerk and glanced at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or general lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread, he had a brilliant idea.
"I'd like some raisin bread please," the man said.
The clerk nodded and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which was located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descended the ladder he mused that he really should get two loa
Yo mamma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mamma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mamma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mamma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mamma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
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