Yo momma'a so stupid she stopped at a stop sign and waited untill it changed to 'Go!'

Ever wonder why your ears are where they are? Just think, if they were on your butt, you would have to pull down your pants to hear what I'm saying --REDD FOXX

There once was a girl named Ann Hyser Who claimed that no man could surprise her. But old Pabst made a push at the Schlitz in her Busch and now she is sadder Budweiser! *This joke was made by Bill Klompus* Go Bill!!

Why couldn't the Human Torch get married? He couldn't find his Match!

Yo momma so bald, I can read her mind

I had been dating this really cool guy for like 2 weeks, and we finally went out. We saw "the RING" and i was totally freaked, and I had ordered a HUGE pop, and drunk it all. Anyway, we were really snuggling tight,like our legs were wrapped around each other, and such. Of course, I had to pee bad, but I didnt want to interupt our snuggling, as it might result in, when I got back, not re-snuggling, so I didnt. At one point, there was this sudden, out of nowhere, loud noise, and it freaked me out, and, as you've probably guessed, I peed. But, it wouldnt stop. It was really bad. I was wearing a skirt and so, afer drenching my undies, it trickled down my legs, and since his legs were wr

A son and a father are walking together in a sunday morning, chatting. They enter a park and pass by a big, fat man, on a bench, drooling in his sleep (with his mouth open) and a bag of potato chips on his lap. As they pass by him the son snickers, while the father sighs. They continue walking talking about many things. Eventually, a hot woman in a red dress passes by, the son looks at her with eyes of passion. The father looks at her too. "Son, don't be fooled by a woman's good looks" the son looks at his father, ready for a lesson. "That's your mom 20 years ago" then he sighs. "That's your mom now", he says as he looks at the man on the bench.

Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, he returned to the office and said, - "A long time. We're gonna build a house..."

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice. "Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."

1 Why did the blonde cross the road? She was tied to the baby that was stapled to the chicken. 2 Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch? Her blinker was on 3 What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear ? Data transfer. 4 What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.