BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COME TO BROWN! COLUMBIA: Hey kids! Do you like Harlem? Do you like commuters? Are you planning on transferring to another Ivy school after your freshman year? COME TO COLUMBIA! HARVARD: Hey kids! Do you hate teachers? I mean really hate them? Do you never want to have another teacher again? And what about a social life? Do you hate that too? COME TO HARVARD! PRINCETON: Hey kids! Do you have any idea what an eating club is? Are you pompous? Can you learn to be? Are you the smartest person you kno

What's the difference between an ice-cream? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A motorcycle, it has no wheels. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hehe, you should have seen your face!!!

Yo Momma so dumb when she went through the McDonalds drive through, she drove through McDonalds.

Q. Have you heard about the new 'Mint flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex? A. They're called Predicaments

A drunken guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you,Batman!?"

Did you hear the one about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

One day, 15 year old Christy came home from shopping with her Auntie Kim and Auntie Flo. Christy says to her 6 year old sister, "Auntie Kim has bad taste, but Auntie Flo has good taste." Her sister then says, "How do you know? Have you bitten them before?"

I used to be schizophrenic, but now we're just fine

Yo momma's arms are so short that she has to tilt her head to scratch her ears.

The voluptuous blonde entered the dentist's office in an obvious state of agitation. She sat down in the chair and fidgeted nervously as the dentist prepared his utensils. "Oh, doctor," she exclaimed, as he prepared to look into her mouth. "I'm so afraid of dentists. Why, I think I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth drilled." "Well, miss," said the dentist impatiently, "better make up your mind before I adjust the chair."

Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.

Your teeth are so yellow the sun should be shy to show it self!