A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "That's easy," he replied. "You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track." "What sort of question would you ask Doctor?" "Well, you might ask them..." "Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?" The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh - "You wouldn't happen to have a

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young blonde woman. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Silverman, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Silverman was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't," replied his wife, consolingly. "I did."

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get frisky?" The other replies, "Oh, sure I do." The first woman asks, "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver." After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

One day an American General, a Russian General and an Indian General were all going to England in a ship. All of them were very boastful. AG : "I have the bravest and most courageous crew in the world. See for yourselves. Oy, you!" (he called to an American soldier) "Swim around this moving ship." The American soldier jumped into the sea without a word, and swam around the moving ship and returned. AG : See the guts ! RG : "Oh, that's nothing. See this. You, (he called to a Russian soldier) swim 5 rounds around this moving ship!" The Russian soldier also jumped into the sea and swam 5 times around the moving ship and returned. RG : "See the guts!" IG : "Oh, that's nothing compared to

There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of exactly when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.

There were two guys in the Army. One day one of the guys gets a letter from his mother and after reading it becomes very sad. His friend asked him what was wrong. The first guy responded by handing him the letter. So the second guy reads that his friend's mother had written that the first guy's girlfriend was in bed with arthritis. "Well" The friend said to the first guy... "That's not so bad..." The first guy turns to him and says "Yea, That's what you think. I know those Ritis boys and Art is the worst one!"

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did you figure that out?" "Didn't feel a thing!"

There were two blondes sitting on the roof of a house. The ladder they had used to get on the roof fell down onto the ground. Blonde #1: Go get the ladder! Blonde #2: No way! If I jump down, I'll kill myself. Blonde #1: I know! I'll shine my flashlight down to the ground and you can climb down the beam of light. Blonde #2: No way! You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway down!

Feeling edgy, a woman took a hot bath. Just as she got comfortable, the doorbell rang. She got out, wrapped herself in a towel, and went to the door. A salesman wanted to know if she needed any brushes. She slammed the door in his face and returned to her bath. The doorbell rang again. She got out, wrapped herself in a towel, slipped on a wet spot, and hit her back against the tub. She struggled into her street clothes and, with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor. After examining her, the doctor said, "Nothing's broken. But you need to relax. Why don't you just go home and take a nice hot bath?"

Why is Michael Jackson dating twenty-eight year olds? The answer is: Because there's twenty of them! (twenty eight year olds....)