Popular Jokes
A boy named John was moving away somewhere far from his the home he is already in. But he couldn't bring the loved kitten he found. So he decided to sneak it. He stuffed the cat in a cardboard box without any holes. Suddenly his mother came up. He quickly taped it shut and put it on the corner of his bed.
"John, did I hear a cat meow?"
"No mother."
She left. So then John went "Whew!" and he sat on the opposite corner of the bed. It forced the box upwards and out the window. The cat popped out and had it hands up, like on a roller coaster, and the same with its feet. It stared right at John and made a quiet meow. It fell in the kiddie pool.
John said, "Well no wonder they call it the Kitty
I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I am the proud father of an 8 pound 7 ounce baby boy.
Boy, is my wife gonna be mad when she finds out!
Dogs...
...steal your food.
...eat all of your tennis balls.
...make you pick up their waste products.
...take all of your covers.
...eat out of the trash.
...beg.
...bark loudly at 1:00 in the morning.
...drink out of the toilet, while it still has poo in it.
...have accidents, on your floor.
And you call you dog your BEST friend,
I can't imagine what your other friends do.
There were three men at a bar. One of them ducked and the other two fell down because they hit the bar.
I was walking down the road and saw a sign which read, "SIDEWALK AHEAD CLOSED. PLEASE USE OTHER SIDE OF ROAD".
Oooh, it made me cross!
A waitress at a restaurant that David worked at had a change of clothes stolen from the break room. To make matters worse, she'd planned on wearing them to the Christmas party.
As a brand-new employee, David knew none of this backstory, so you can imagine his surprise when the found a note on the employees' community board saying:
"It has been two weeks since the Christmas party, and I still have not found my clothes."
Someone approaches you to say hi and your immediate response is, "You bet I am!"
A boy named Ronald bought a Xbox for Christmas. 7 months later, the Xbox broke. He knew he needed to replace it with a new one, but the shop where he bought it was closed down in favor for a shoe store.
He went to the new console shop which was just a kilometer away. He saw an Xbox and he knew he got enough money for it, so he said he wanted an Xbox and the cashier said: "Your Xbox will be delivered in 2 or 3 days." In 2 days, the doorbell rang. He knew it is the Xbox he ordered. Outside was a man with glasses, holding a box where Ronald thought inside was an Xbox, but when he opened it, he was shocked.
It was a box marked with an X on the cover and inside was a game for Xbox only. Thus a
How many exciting people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, because they are VERY excited, one of them cracks the lightbulb and another throws the screw at their neighbor's house.
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