You know you're a redneck if your fence doubles as your clothesline

Yo Momma so fat, she filled up the tub before she put the water in it.

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One War Dims Hope for Peace Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Deer Kill 17,000 Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Yo momma is so uncoordinated she couldn't hit water if she fell out of a boat.

A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "Yes, I am." The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth." He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?" "Yes, I am," she said. "Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said. He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?" "Yes, I am," his father answered. The baby motioned him to come closer, then poked him on the forehead with his index finger 5 times, saying, "I want you to know that THAT HURTS!"

Yo momma is so fat, she joined MySpace and there was no room for anyone else. Yo momma is so fat, she tried uploading her picture to a computer, but the C: Drive filled up.

Yo Momma is so fat, the only reason she wanted to go to space was to taste the Milky Way.

University scientists have released the results of a recent analysis that reveals the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. It turns out that the "hops" in beer contain certain phyto-estrogens, and scientists believe that be drinking enough beer, men may turn into women. In the study, 100 male volunteers were asked to drink 8 pints of beer in one hour. The results were observed and recorded. At the end of one hour, every single subject had developed female characteristics and the test was terminated. The data is provided below: After one hour, 100% of the test subjects: 1. gained weight. 2. talked excessively without making sense. 3.

What did the fish say when he crashed into a wooden wall? Beaver damn!

your mom is like paris hilton ... a dirty whore

Yo momma is so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

A British girl recently moved to the United States and their home was near the Colorado River in Texas. The English teacher asked the kids to write about their home and neighborhood. The British girl wrote "My home is near the Colourado River." as part of her work.