Your teeth are so yellow the sun should be shy to show it self!

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"

You want me to write a joke!?!? The world is being attacked by aliens! AWWWWW! A warning; they have huge, hairy jaws and beady little eyes and long mangy hair and a huge nose and foul breath and and... oops. That's just you.

At 85 years of age, Wally married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Wally, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Wally.

Did you hear about the smart blonde? Neither did I!

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered through the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and with drew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the chorus. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the chorus director and the assistant pastor. After a few moments, there were about tw

Dear Santa, You must be suprised that I'm writing to you on the 26th of December. I would like you to remember that I asked for a pair of rollar blades, a bicycle, an electric train, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying this whole year. Not only was I the first class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, but there was nobody in my neighborhood who behaved better than me including to my parents, my brothers and sisters, my neighbors, and my friends. I would even help the elderly across the street and go on errands. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What ball you have leaving me a fuckin yoyo, a la

1 Why cant blondes make ice cubes? Because they dont have the recipe! 2 Two Blondes were in a car and came to a fork in a road, and the sign said Disneyland left. So they turned around and went home. 3 How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail? Envelopes in the disk drive. 4 How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her a blonde joke. 5 Why don't Blondes make good cattle ranchers? They can't keep their calves together.

What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? Through her left breast.

You know you're a redneck if your fence doubles as your clothesline

Yo Momma so fat, she filled up the tub before she put the water in it.

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