One time, when there was a hope for mankind, some blonds appeared in front of a judge. The judge said, "You can either have world peace or keep your cellular phones and get electrocuted." So the blond takes out her cellular phone and the judge says; "What are you doing?" and she simply says; "Im phoning a friend." Now I'm not sure what happened after that because no one saw this blond ever again!

Doctor: "Does it hurt when you do this?" Patient: "Yes" Doctor: "Well, you shouldn't do it then."

One day a man is up on his soap box telling blonde jokes. A large crowd has gathered around him and are laughing hysterically at every line, most of which he probably took off of this website. A blonde walks up to him and starts yelling at him, "You know, not all blondes are as dumb as you make us out to be." Taken aback by this he says, "Fine. If you can answer three questions, I'll pack it up and never tell another blonde joke." She agrees and he starts the questioning. "Ok, I'll give you an easy one first. What are the colors of the flag of the United States of America?" "That's easy," she replies, "Red, white, and blue." "Not bad, I've had some blondes screw that one up. OK, next ques

There was a child named Laura. She asked her mom what the hardest report she ever had to do was. Her mom said, "It was to write an essay on the belly of a frog." Laura said, "Wow!!How did you get the frog in to the typewriter?"

You Might Be a Redneck if you have a pond full of gasoline and a car wreck in the bottom of it.

Yo Momma's so poor she had to save up to pay attention!

Teacher: If you stood with your back to the north and faced due south, what would be on your left hand? Lisa: Fingers

What do you say to a blonde who looks stupid in her ear muffs? Anything you want! She cant hear you! P.S. no offence to blondes!

A blonde and her husband go to buy her new clothes. First, they decide she needs a new shirt, so they go through a few shirts but she rejects them all. Finally she points at one that she likes, but he thinks it is ugly, so he says no. They go through almost the whole store, and she says no to all of the shirts. Bored and annoyed, the husband finally goes up to the shirt she likes and generously "Fine, do you want this polo shirt?" The wife thinks for a few seconds and says "Oh, it's a polo shirt? In that case no, I'm really not into sports."

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street café watching the crowd. Across the street, they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes later, they reappeared, with a third person. "They have multiplied," said the biologist. "Oh no, it's an error in measurement," the physicist replied. "If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again," was the mathematician's conclusion.

So, Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Oh, that looked like it hurt! It must have knocked his nose off!

Homelite Zip Start Vac Attack Blower: Do not point blower in direction of people or pets. (Wild animals are presumably okay?) Bono 527 Multi-Purpose Cement: Exposure may result in confusion. (Anyone who sniffs glue is more than confused) Bowl-Fresh Automatic Toilet Cleaning Tablets: Harmful if swallowed. (I know a kid who can put a whole orange in his mouth- but that's beside the point) Sunbeam Simple Press Iron: To prevent burn injury, keep hand away from heated area. (I had no idea intense heat could BURN you! Go figure!) Hungry Jack Lite Syrup: Caution: Syrup bottle may be hot. (After lengthy instructions on how to heat the bottle.) 50 Water Balloons: This bag is not a toy. (Yes ind