One day little Susie, who is a blond(since this is in the 'blond' category), was at her grandma's house. She had been there for about two days and today grandma isn't feeling very well. The grandma is in bed, coughing and it isn't getting any better. The Grandma tells little Susie to go to the pharmacist and get some syrup for her cough. So little Susie goes to the local pharmacy and she buys the syrup. The clerk tells her to remember to 'SHAKE WELL BEFORE USE'. Susie goes back to the house and moments later, the ambulance has arrived and the doctors are trying their best to save poor granny. When they questioned Susie about what happened, she says "Well, the clerk at the pharmacy and th

USA:What's wrong world? World:(crying and sniffling) My kitty died! USA: That's unfortunate. Here's a couple hundred billion dollars my hardworking citizens paid. I was gonna spend it on education and defence and whatnot, but you need it more. World:(takes the money) Cheapass! (spits in USA's face)

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

Lenin coined a slogan on how to achieve the state of communism through rule by the Communist Party and modernization of the Russian industry and agriculture: "Communism is Soviet power plus electrification of the whole country!" The slogan was subject to popular mathematical scrutiny: "Consequently, Soviet power is communism minus electrification, and electrification is communism minus Soviet power."

Your mum's so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her U.S. Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all about to jump off a cliff. As they jumped, they would yell the name of what they wanted to turn into. The redhead went first. She yelled, "Hawk!" and she turned into a hawk and flew away. The brunette went next. She yelled, "Butterfly!" and she turned into a butterfly and flew away. The blonde went last. As she was about to jump, she tripped, and yelled, "Crap!" As she fell, she turned into a piece of poop.

yo mamma is so fat it takes 1111111111111111111111111999999999thousand belts to fit her waist

If Bob the Butcher is 5'11'' what does he weigh? -Meat

Teacher: Billy, tell me the periodic for water. Billy:Okay. H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Teacher: What makes you say that? Billy: You said it was H to O.

Why does a blonde smile at lightning? She thinks she's getting her picture taken.

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same stuff?