Sally – "Mummy, why can't I go swimming in the sea?" Mum – "Because there are sharks in the sea." Sally – "But mummy, daddy is swimming in the sea." Mum – "That's different, he's insured."

Yo mama is so greasy Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her

The three stages of sex in marriage: Tri-weekly, Try-weekly, Try-weakly.

Yo Momma's feet smell so bad that her shoes committed suicide.

- Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house. - When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. - Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. - Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out! - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice. - When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone. - Don't have sex. Es

First, go to Wocka's Joke Home Page. There you will see the Daily Joke of the Day. In that box, (in the bottom-right corner) there are 3 links. The bottom link says "Get Daily Jokes Via E-Mail"; that is what you click. Make sure we have your correct email address and press the button: Newsletter Your Email Address: Subscribe Unsubscribe Do It We hate spam just as much as you do. Your email address will never be shared or sold to anyone. Your information is kept private and is only used for sending the daily joke. You can unsubscribe at any time by following the link at the bottom of the daily email or by coming back to this page. If you are under the age of 13, please get your

A teacher is instructing her fourth grade class, and she's telling them that the word of the day is 'contagious.' She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several students raise their hands. "Carl," she says. Carl says, "My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, 'cause they're contagious." "Very good," says the teacher. Then she picks Suzie, who says, "The atmosphere was contagious." The teacher says, "Excellent, Suzie!" Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up at the back of the class. "Yes, Johnny?"she says. Johnny replies, "The other day, me and my dad's a-sittin' around, and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car p

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday? STUDENT: Seven. TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT: Nine. TEACHER: That's impossible. STUDENT: No it isn't, teacher. I'm eight today. ********************************************************** TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George!

This young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe you'll do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then, as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old,you are lucky to have it once a year, like maybe on your anniversary." The young fellow then asks his grandfather, "Well, how about you and Grandma now?" His grandfather replied,"Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked. "Well," Grandpa said, "she goes to bed in her bedr

If at first you don't suceed...lower your standards!

Yo Momma is so fat she needs mapquest to find her butt!

Your mamma is soooo ugo... When you look in the mirror you die of fright, as you look just like her.