A boy went to his grandpa's & grandma's house. He asked his grandpa, while his hand holds a worm, "If I can make this worm stiff, would you give me $10?" His grandpa said, "Yes." Then he sprayed the worm with hair spray, and the worm became stiff. The grandpa looked surprised. He then tells his wife about what happened, and together, they give the boy $20. Grandma then said, "Here's $10 from grandpa for making the worm stiff, as he promised, and $10 from me for the great idea."

Knock-knock Who's there? Kook Kook who? Hey, who you calling cukoo mister?

Your parrot can say, "Open up, it's the police!"

I sprayed my dog with spot remover. Now he is gone.

One day at class, Mrs. Stryo has a storytelling contest. She tells the class that the boy or girl with the best story will get a bag of candy. Jay, a clever boy, thinks of a story. "One day, there is a storm." He begins. "Someone's house gets ripped apart by this storm, leaving furniture scattered on the ground." "One old man survives this storm. He trys to rebuild the house that was torn apart." "He almost suceeds. Three months later, after spending all of his money trying to rebuild the house, another storm comes and rips it apart again. Everything is scattered around again." "So that man trys again to build a house. Six months later, he spends a further few hundred dollars building u

Yo momma is so poor, that when I went to her house, a roach tripped me and a rat took my wallet.

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry, we still have one engine left." A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one m

A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher. The note read: Bill Jones having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety. Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his audience by announcing: Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.

Yo Momma is so fat, that she goes to the zoo to see the elephants and they feed her!

Why did God make man first? Because he didn't want to be interrupted by woman!

You call me ugly? Where is your mirror, boy?

A man walks into a bar and notices that there is a game of poker taking place at a table in the corner of the room. To his amazement, one of the players is a German Shepherd, studying his hand intently. He asks the barman, "Is that dog actually playing poker?" "He certainly is, sir," replies the barman. "I am amazed," said the man. "Oh, it's quite true, every night, the same group comes in here and they all play poker." "Does the dog win much?" asks the man. "No, he's terrible, every time he gets a good hand, his tail starts to wag!"