+15°C / 59°F This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan. +10°C / 50°F The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Finns plant flowers in their gardens. +5°C / 41°F Italian cars won't start, The Finns are cruising in cabriolets. 0°C / 32°F Distilled water freezes. The water in Vantaa river (in Finland) gets a little thicker. -5°C / 23°F People in California almost freeze to death. The Finns have their final barbecue before winter. -10°C / 14°F The Brits start the heat in their houses. The Finns start using long sleeves. -20°C / -4°F The Aussies f

A blonde went to her regular plastic surgion one day. When she walked in, he said to her, "What more can I do for you? I have changed your every part of your body that you could think of! I even did your ears!" She replied, "Well, this is kind of embarrasing for me say out loud." The plastic surgion, curious to know what the blonde wanted done, asked, "What is it? You can trust me. She answered shyly. "This morning, while I was looking in the mirror, I noticed that my butt had a huge crack down the middle and i was wondering if you could get me a new one that isn't broken."

Q: What does Donald Trump say before he lights off a fire work? A:You`re fired!

What do you call a dinosaur that is able to give you a synonym for any word you give him? Answer: A Thesaurus! :)

Lisa was playing bowling with her friend Marie. Lisa got a strike, then one more strike. Then, she got another strike. She had just gotten 3 strikes in a row! "I just got 3 strikes in a row!" said Lisa. Marie said, "You're out, you just got 3 strikes in a row!"

Man: "Do you think I'll lose my looks when I get older?" Friend: "With luck, yes."

Why should you never play poker in the jungle? -because there are too many cheatahs!!

A lady was at the bar when a guy started hitting on her. She said "I'll send my pants to you from the dry cleaners, that way you can get into them on you own time."

Hey! Is that your head or did your neck blow a bubble?!

I always follow my first instinct, That is unless I second guess myself. --------------------------------------------- Why don't you have a drink, your only driving to a funeral right? --------------------------------------------- Why buy a watch from the competitor, I thought time was against us? ---------------------------------------------- You must be smart, because you just confused us all. ----------------------------------------------

Prostitute shouting accross the street - "Hey, black boy! You want a blow job?" He shouts back "Fuck off! I don't want ANY job!"

The following were some comments made in the year 1957: (1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00." (2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5,000 will only buy a used one." (3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous." (4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?" (5) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store." (6) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon.