A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful. "Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?" "Nobody gave them to me," said Sam. "I had to fight like crazy for both of them."

The once was a lung doctor waiting outside a patient's room of who she didn't know. A different doctor came up to her with a shot canister and said 'I need you to go in the and draw blood from this guy' 'Ok, simple!' she responded. She walks in the room and there strapped down to the table was a big muscley guy who was in there for taking drugs.' He sits there struggling to get out. The wrist bands look as if they're about to break. The lung doctor storms out of there and spots the doctor. She says 'Ok if you want to get a needle stuck and play hostage today that's fine. But there's no way in hell I'm going in there and sticking that hulk with a needle' She hands him the shot canister and wa

Join the fight against brutality.

Marble is a valuable building material and should not be taken for granite.

...you've ever had to have a wrecker pull your car out of a pothole in your driveway.

Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth, with Tom even keeping a log of the "conversation." Just as Tom thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter-species communication, his wife had a chat with next-door neighbour's wife. "My husband spends his nights . . . calling out to owls," said Mrs. Rowe. "That's odd," Mrs. Hollis replied. "So does my John." Then it dawned on them.

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time in reading it." - Moses Hadas.

A man goes into a pet store, plants a bomb, and as he leaves, calls out, "You have one minute to get out!" At that, a tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, "You BASTARD!"

10) Getting six hours of sleep is a privilege. 9) The sentence, "Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" sounds normal. 8) You are used to doing everything one-handed. 7) The thought of your mother-in-law coming over for a few hours is a pleasant one. 6) The list of bodily fluids that disgust you has shortened, possibly to zero. 5) Your idea of romance is handholding. 4) You answer the question, "How are you?" with, "We're fine." 3) You decide whether a shirt is wearable, not based on sweatiness, but based on how well the spit-up stains match the shirt's main color. 2) You see a slender teenage girl walking down your street, and you think, "Hey, I wonder if I could interest

Elsie walked into a print lab to have a photo of her deceased husband copied and retouched. She said to the technician, "I have always hated the hat that my husband is wearing in the photo. Could you please retouch the hat out?" "Of course," said the technician; "what colour hair did your husband have?" "When you take the hat off, you'll see," she said.

21st Century... Our communication - Wireless Our dress - Topless Our telephone - Cordless Our cooking - Fireless Our youth - Jobless Our food - Fatless Our labour - Effortless Our conduct - Worthless Our relation - Loveless Our attitude - Careless Our feelings - Heartless Our politics - Shameless Our education - Valueless Our follies - Countless Our arguments - Baseless Our boss - Brainless Our Job - Thankless Our Salary/Allowance - Very less !!!

What do you get when you cross an Ossi with a Wessi? An arrogant unemployed person.