Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? A. The joystick is wet. Q. Why do blondes wear underwear? A. To keep their ankles warm. Q. What is a brunette between two blondes? A. An interpreter. Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it. Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money? A. She sold her car for it.. Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A. "Are you sure it's mine?" Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons? A. Because they have blond boyfriends.

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table. Finally the wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

your daddies so old, i slapped his butt and his balls fell off

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde with a green stripe in her hair, walked into a barbor shop. The barbor asks where the brunette got the haircolor. She replies "Natural." He asks the red-head the same. She says, "Natural." Then he asks the blonde the same question, and she rubs the back of her hand over her nose, and on the green stripe, and says "Natural."

yo momma, not grandma, is so dumb, when she got locked in the telephone store she waited for the manager all night, and when he came she says,"Dude, yo momma, not grandma, is so dumb, when she got locked in the telephone store she waited all night for the manager and when he came she says,"Dude, yo momma, not grandma, is so dumb, when she got locked in the telephone store she waited all night for the manager and when he came she says,"Dude, yo momma, not grandma, is so dumb, when she got locked in the telephone store she waited all night for the manager and when he came she says,"Dude, yo momma, not grandma, is so dumb, when she got locked in the telephone store she waited all night for the

You Might be a Redneck If you take your family to K-Mart to see a movie.

Yo momma is so poor, that when I went to her house, a roach tripped me and a rat took my wallet.

Once upon a time, there was a tribe of very hostile Indians who, upon catching a person on their land, would cut the person up and make a canoe out of them. One day, three men were walking through the woods when they wandered upon the canoe-making Indian's land. They were all caught and given one death wish. The man from Italy said, "I would like one last slice of pizza before I die." So he ate his pizza and was cut up and made into a canoe. The man from America said, "I would like one last hamburger before I die." So he ate his hamburger and was cut up and made a canoe. The last man asked for a fork. "What the hell - a fork??!!! Why the hell do you want a fuckin fork???" But they

Yo Momma is so fat, that she goes to the zoo to see the elephants and they feed her!

Two friends were out shooting birds. A bird flew from behind a tree and quick as a flash one man shot it. It uttered a squawk, folded its wings and fell to the ground. The other man turned to him and said: " You didn't need to shoot that bird. The fall would have killed it."

A man was buying a horse and was given a few simple instructions. To make the horse walk, he would say "few." To make the horse run, he would say "many." To make the horse stop he would say "amen." On the man's first ride all was going well. "few!" the man shouted and the horse began to walk. "many!" the man shouted and the horse began to run. But the man had forgotten the word to make the horse stop as it ran towards the edge of a cliff. The man shouted in terror "Lord! Please save me! Amen!" And of course the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff-face. The man then mopped his brow and said "Phew! that was clo- AAAAARRRRGHHH!!"

You call me ugly? Where is your mirror, boy?