Popular Jokes
Your momma so white and ugly Michael Jackson took one glance and thought he was looking into a mirror!
Once there was this Australian guy, an English guy, and an American guy. They all went into a furniture store to by a chair that played music when you sat on it (aka musical chair). The next day the Australian guy comes back and says he wants to return the chair. When the clerk asks why he says it's too hard, so the clerk gives him his money back. The day after that the English guy comes back and says he wants to return the chair and again when the clerk asks why, he says it was too hard. So the clerk gives him his money back. The next day the American guy comes back and asks to return the chair. The clerk, getting somewhat annoyed by this time, says, "Let me guess, it's too hard right?" The
There's this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, "What do you think you're doing?"
The drunk says, "I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I'm waiting on my house. Won't be long now, there goes my neighbor."
One day, in the mental institute, a doctor visited one of his new patients.
"How are you today?" he asked, when he saw his patient.
"Oh. I'm fine thank you very much. How about you?" replied the patient.
"Oh, I'm fine," answered the doctor, while thinking if he should let this patient go seeing as how he was polite and all. "So, did you sleep alright last night?"
"Oh, heavens no. The mosquitoes were such a bother, I got so angry that I put up a mosquito net around the bed but I climbed under the bed. HA! They can bite whatever they want inside the net, but I'll be safe and sound under the bed," answered the patient with an air of dignity.
"Never mind."
Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
What happens if you pop the popcorn upside down?
Why aren't HAMburgers made out of ham?
And my favorite:
Donde estan mis pantalones?
The mood of a woman
An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
A woman is a bundle of contradiction,
She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
She'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk,
At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.
The moods of a man!
Hungry!
Horny!
Sleepy!
A couple was about to celebrate 50 years together.
Their three kids, all very successful and wealthy, agreed to a Sunday dinner in honour of their parents. As usual, they were all late and had varied excuses.
"Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad," gushed son number one. "Sorry, I'm running late... I just didn't have the time to get you a present."
"No worry," said Dad. "The important thing is that we're all together."
Son number two arrived and announced, "Just flew in from L.A. and didn't have time to get you anything... I'm sorry."
"It's nothing," said the father, "just glad you could be here today."
The daughter arrived. "Happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but I've been out of town and d
Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
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