Popular Jokes
Ever wonder what all those advertising terms really mean?
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NEW - Different color from previous design.
ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.
UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.
FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.
REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
DIRECT SALES ON
A man and his love had a terrible spat:
She scratched his face and he knocked her flat;
She spat at him and he threw her around;
She jumped from behind and he fell to the ground.
How sad to see such trouble as that...
Between a man and his household cat!
A mother complained to a doctor about her daughter's
strange eating habits. "All day long she lies in bed
and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?"
"Don't worry," said the doctor. "Eventually, she'll
rise and shine.
1. The Yankees General Manager's name is Brian Cashman.
2. Barry Bonds' initals are BB, the abreviation for a walk is also BB.
Why did they ban the wave at the local football games?
*Too many blondes were drowning.
Why was the blonde on the roof of the bar?
*Someone told her that the drinks were on the house.
Why don't blondes eat M&Ms?
*They are too hard to peel.
Why do blondes take the pill?
*It's the only way that they can keep track of what day of the week it is.
Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
*She tied up the safe and blew the guard.
Yo Momma's So Fat...
When she crosses the border, they think she's tryin to smuggle the whole country.
When she was at the zoo the elephants were scared she might step on them.
She's what caused Mexico City to sink into the ground.
She sunk Atlantis.
She once found a whale hidden in her belly button.
When a plane has to make an emergancy landing they use her as a runway.
A drunken guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks
her over.
He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you,Batman!?"
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