A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."

Yo mama so stupid, when her softball coach said to keep her eye on the ball, she stared at the softball for 3 days straight!

Did you hear the one about the blond Think Tank? Once they got it got started, it drove through three houses and a convienence store before they figured out how to stop it.

Yo momma's like 7-11... Cause she is open all day.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk." Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said. Just remember...if the world didn't ****, we'd all fall off. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! Br

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunken man answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?" The drunken man replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus." The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found J

Teacher: John, why is your cat at school today? John: (crying)..I heard the milkman tell mom.."When the kid goes to school i'm gonna eat your pussy!"

Yo Mama is so fat that when she has sex she has show directions!

On a very busy high way there stood three images. Santa, The easter bunny and a smart mexican. Well who crossed the street first? None There is no such thing as santa, the easter bunny, or a smart mexican.

A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, "I'm running away from home!" The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. "What if you get hungry?" he said. "Then I'll come home and eat!" bravely declared the child. "And what if you run out of money?" "I will come home and get some!" readily replied the child. The man then made a final attempt, "What if your clothes get dirty?" "Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them," was the reply. The man shook his head and exclaimed, "This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college!"

A class is on a field trip to the zoo. They are in the farm animal's section, and all of the sudden the entire class looks to their right and see 2 pigs going at it like it was the last day on Earth. Boy: o.o umm... teacher, what are those pigs doing? Teacher: O.O I don't think those are pigs...

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