Popular Jokes
The masked and armed man entered the bank.
"Nobody move, or you're geography!" shouts the bandit.
One of the tellers says, "Don't you mean 'history'?"
"Don't change the subject!"
After trying a new shampoo for the first time, a guy fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer.
Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the many products the company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste, and paper items.
"Well, what do you think?" his wife asked smiling.
"Next time," he replied. "I'm writing to General Motors!"
Never buy a toothbrush at a yard sale.
Never buy a parachute that was used once and never opened before.
Never sell computers for free at your garage sale. Trust me, there are many more ways to demolish your house.
Never put bathroom humor up on the internet.
Never watch American Idol auditions with Coke in your mouth.
Never watch American Idol auditions without a couple of aspirins.
And never, ever catch your grandparents taking a shower.
All of these words of advice were found out by first-hand experience.If you want to meet the guy brave enough to try all of these "stunts" out, go to the Almont Graveyard in Stamfort, Michigan and visit the grave entitled:"Dave 'Daredevil' Deatson".
There were three women that had just escaped from jail, one was a brunette, one was a red-head, and one was a blonde. They were running through the woods and the police and their dogs were chasing after them. The women ran into three empty potato sacks. They decided to hide.
A policeman found the sacks and decided to give the first one a kick. It meowed. "Aww, it's a sack full of kittens," he said. He kicked the second bag and it barked. "Aww, it's a sack full of puppies," he said. He kicked the third one and it didn't do anything. He kicked it again and it didn't do anything. He was about to kick it again when the blonde popped out of it and said, "I can't act like potatoes if you keep kic
One day a blonde named Sharon was sitting at her till at the supermarket.
Suddenly, she had an idea that would change the world forever.
She had invented mind-mail!
She called over her boss and told him. He was astonished and said, "Go on then, send me a mail through your mind!"
She did as she was told, and sent him one.
The manager then said, "I didn't quite get that, what was the message?"
She replied, "I dunno, work it out for yourself!"
A nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
The attendant regretfully told her that the only gas can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourcef
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.
So this chicken walks into the library, and she walks up to the librarian and she says: "Book."
The librarian says: "You want a book?"
"Book."
"Any book?"
"Book."
So the librarian gives the chicken a novel and off she goes. An hour later the chicken comes back and says, "Book-book"
The librarian says: "Now you want two books?"
"Book-book."
So she gives the chicken two more novels. The chicken leaves but she comes back soon. "Book-book-book."
"Three books?"
"Book-book-book."
So the librarian gives the chicken three books, but she decides she'll follow the chicken and find out what's going on.
The chicken goes down the alley, and out of town and towards the woods, into
Q: What did the older lightbulb say to the younger lightbulb?
A: You're too young to go out tonight.
A guy goes to the dentist and says, "How much to get these two teeth pulled?"
"$80 a tooth," he replies.
"For two minutes work! That's crazy!" said the patient.
"Trust me," said the dentist, "You don't want me to do it any slower.
Home
