A man and his wife were arguing when the man commented smugly, "You know, women talk so much! They talk twice as much as man do!" The wife thought for a while and said, "The reason women talk so much is because they have to repeat everything they say." The man frowned. Then he said, "What?"

A blonde was driving her brand new, VERY expensive, Mustang convertible, when she saw her brunette friend. She thought that this was her chance to brag about it, so she drove over to her. The brunette recognized her, and said, "Hey!" The blonde smiled; this was her chance. She said, "Hey, look what I got that you don't have!" patting her convertible. The brunette smiled sweetly back and said, "Well, look what I got that YOU don't have," patting her brain.

A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at "Lovers Cove" where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat. "NO!" yelled the blonde. The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again. "NO!" the blonde yelled again. Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped. "Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?" asked the guy. "For the last time, NO!" said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, "Well, why the hell not?" The blond

Yo Momma so poor, she wore her McDonalds uniform to church.

Yo mama's so funky, they closed the beaches for a week after she drained her bath water.

Yo mama's so poor she can't even pay attention.

A 6 year old was in a car with her parents. She kept having sneezing fits, and she kept splattering snot all over the seats. Eventually, the Mum and Dad gave up on trying to stop the sneezing, and told the little girl to put her hands up when she sneezed. The little girl did so, raising her hands above her head, and sneezed on the Mum's face!!

A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was holding up traffic and not going. She responded well the sign told me to stop but it doesn't want to let me go.

A little girl is helping her mommy with the dishes when she notices that some of her hairs are gray. She asks her mom, "Why are some of your hairs gray?" The mom replies cleverly, "Whenever you make me cry or lie to me, one of my hairs turn gray." The girl thinks for a minute, and then asks, "Is that why all Grandma's hairs are gray?"

This Is A True Story, It Really Happened An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, scumbags !" The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found h

Knock-Knock Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel!

Why did 3 blonds jump off the building? To see if their maxi-pads had wings!