Popular Jokes
Why is it so hard to make a blond snowman???
Because you have to hollow out its head!!!!!
A College football team was on a winning streak, until they found out that their star QB was failing English. The QB couldn't play until he brought his grade up to a C. The other players on the team were desperate for him to play in the championship, so they asked his English professor for extra credit. He agreed and called in the QB. The professor said: "I will give you a simple spelling test and if you pass, I will raise your grade. In fact if you get one word right, I will raise the grade." So the QB takes the test and gets every single word wrong. He begged the professor for one more chance. The professor agreed and told him that if he could get one letter in the word that was given to h
Five days before Christmas, Santa was having a horrible day. And by horrible, I mean his wife was sick with the flu, 23 elfs called in sick, and nothing was getting done, so they were really behind schedule.
*Knock-Knock,* Santa heard, so he went to go open the door. There was an Angel carrying a christmas tree. "Where would you like me to put this?" asked the angel.
And that is why the Angel is put on top of the Christmas tree.
You're so fat, the last time you went on a bus, the ticket read ''Please allow up to 28 days for delivery.''
Have you heard about the new blonde paint? It's not too bright but it spreads real easy.
Once, a teacher was showing a child a picture of a firefighter taking a child out of a burning building. The teacher asked what that was. The child replied,"A pregnant firefighter." Instead of scolding him, she calmly asked,"Do you know what pregnant means?" The little boy just said, "Yes, it means to be carrying a child."
A rancher walked up to the window at the post office, where a new clerk was sorting mail.
"Any mail for Mike Howe?" the rancher asked.
The clerk ignored him and the rancher repeated his question in a louder voice. Without looking up, the clerk said, "No, none for your cow and none for your horse, either."
"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?"
"I don't know; and I couldn't care less."
1. I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
3. I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."
Her response was "click."
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