If you work without a shirt on, and so does your husband, you might be a redneck.

This issue has been on my mind a lot lately. The lives of the innocent destroyed for the belief that they are mistakes. Many say that they're inadequate and that they deserve to be sent away. I'm sure they have feelings, too, though! Sometimes I can't eat or sleep because I think about them so much. It's such an injustice! They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Given no notice, they are swept right out of this world with such speed and are never heard from ever again. So many questions cloud my thoughts. How do they feel? Are they frightened or angry? Are they cold, lost and hungry? But the one question that I cannot find the answer to is: What happens to those poor letter

Why do black people wear hats with such big bills? So birds don't shit on their lips

Last time my friend went to the zoo, he got in trouble for feeding the monkeys... ...to the lions.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work, and wondered if they would increase in value after your death. When I told him they would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's great news," the artist said. "What's the bad news?" "He was your doctor."

Mom: "Why have you been sent home early, Jack?" Jack: "Because the boy next to me was smoking." Mom: "But if he was smoking, why were you sent home?" Jack: "Because I set him on fire!"

A paper bag goes to his doctor, who says; "Your test results are back, and I'm afraid I have bad news. You have AIDS. "That's impossible," cried the paper bag, "I've not had any form of sexual contact, nor am I a drug user!" "In that case," said the doctor, "your father must have been a carrier."

A pastor was walking down the street one day when he saw an abandoned kitten in an alley. Feeling sorry for it, he took it home. However, it wasn't until he was in his house when he realized it had a collar. It said "Fluffy," nothing else. No phone number, no street address, nothing. He went around the neighborhood, asking if anyone had lost a cat, to which he always got the same reply: "No." Then, one day the cat got stuck in a tree that was too tall for him to climb. He tried everything: coaxing it with warm milk, scaring it down, even calling the fire department, but nothing worked. Suddenly, while he was reading the newspaper, he got an idea. He tied a rope to the front of his pick-up tr

Mrs. Biddle was walking down the street one day carrying a small box with holes punched in the top. "What's in that box?" Mrs. Riddle asked. "A cat," Mrs. Biddle answered. "What for?" "I've been dreaming about mice at night, and I'm scared of mice. The cat is to catch them." "But the mice you dream about are imaginary," said Mrs. Riddle. Mrs. Biddle turned to her friend and whispered, "So is the cat."

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, except one girl, laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?" "I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion: 1) The woman buys the food. 2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. Here comes the

The following are headlines that *might* have appeared in papers in the aftermath of Little Bighorn - Variety: "Custer Closes Out of Town" Pravda: "Big Red Victory" Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series" Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback" Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff" The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"