Yo Mama's so ugly, when she walks down the street in September, people say, "Damn! Is it Halloween already?"

A blonde's son was playing catch with his friend. The blonde was working in the yard, planting flowers and such. Her son was throwing the baseball back and forth with his friend when he suddenly smiled. He threw the baseball straight at his blonde mom, and yelled, "Think Fast!!!" so the blonde said silently to herself, "Fast, fast, fast, fast..." The blonde got herself hit right plop in the head.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who can do binary and those who can't.

My mouth has turned into a flower bed. It has tulips.

According to the news, Michael Jackson is broke and can't even afford the payroll at Neverland Ranch. So the next time you see Michael with his hands in a 12-year-old's pocket, he might just be looking for lunch money

If you want to make someone laugh, use this line: Sorry. say that again. I couldn't hear you over my fart.

One time there was 2 rednecks Bob and John. They were best friends. Bob had just gone bankrupt so he asked John if he could move in with him. Now John didn't have a big house like Bob use to have but agreed to let him stay there till he got out of bankruptcy. The next day when Bob moved in, while at dinner Bob said: "John you know what?" John said:"What is it Bob?" "I thought my house was shitty. Then i came to yours."

yo mama's so fat, she waz about 2 jump in the ocean, and the ocean jumped out and said u 1st.

Two friends went to the mall to go shopping; one was a brunette and the other was blonde. As they were shopping, the blonde suddenly said: "That girl could pass as my twin." The brunette starts laughing. The blonde says: "What is so funny?" The brunette says, "That was a mirror."

Yo momma so nasty I was on the phone with her, and she gave me an ear infection.

Little Johnny asks his teacher: "How are the babies made?" Teacher, not wanting to take the responsibility of explaining such a sensitive subject, suggests that he go home and ask his parents. When he gets home, Johnny approaches his father with the same question. His father replies, "Oh! that is a long story, you better speak to mother!" The mother, in her turn, says: "Oh! It is a difficult question, why don't you better speak to granddad!" Grandfather is sitting on a bench in the garden and eating an apple just when Johnny comes up with the same question. And so he tries to explain: "You see, the apple has little seeds; when they are planted, an apple-tree will grow after a while; and

The secret to enjoying a good wine is: 1 - Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2 - When it does not breathe, give it mouth-to-mouth