Popular Jokes
The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why she doesn't want to have sex with her husband any more.
"For the last 7 months," the wife replies, "every morning I take a cab to work. I don't make much money and my husband doesn't give more than bus fare, so the cab driver always asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' I always give him an 'or what'.
That makes me late to work. I'm late, so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to dock your salary, or what?' That's another 'or what.'
On the way home, I tak
Someone dropped $50. Who do you think will pick it up?
A.) An honest politician
B.) A five year old child
C.) Santa Claus
B.) A 5 year old child, all the others aren't real.
This is a true story told to me.
A big city news anchor is driving along the freeway when his young son asks him, "Daddy, what does motherf____r mean?"
He turns to his son, "That's a really bad word, don't ever say that again. Where did you learn that?!?!?"
His son answers innocently, "Well, that's what you just said about that car you said cut you off."
A good friend will say: "I love you!" (In a sarcastic tone)
A best friend will say: "I love you, you f***in' b****!"
"Mario, I am in so much pain right now I can barely sit. Leave the mushrooms for the adventures and out of the bedroom."
"Fine Princess. Yoshi, let's go."
"No, no...Yoshi can stay."
Q-If the big breasted women work at Hooters, where does the one legged woman work?
A-Ihop
Bobby-Hey do you remember what the teacher said in fourth hour?
Jessica-?--------???
Bobby-Did you just have a blonde moment?
Your mother has something wrong with her brain.
After medical examination, the doctor tells her:
"Your brain has two parts: one is left, and the other is right.
Your left side has nothing right,
Your right side has nothing left."
Two friends, Al and Mike, were walking through the woods, when suddenly a snake jumped up and bit Mike on the penis. He was quickly down on the ground writhing in pain, so Al yelled,"Wait here while I run and get help!" So Al runs into town, gets to the doctors office, and tells him what happened. The doctor tells him he cannot leave the office, but told Al he would need to bite open the wound and suck out all of the venom. Al runs back into the woods, and finds Mike still writhing in pain.
"What did the doctor say?" asked Mike. And Al told him,
"The doctor says you're gonna die!"
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