Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, "Nice pigs, Mr. President." Clinton replies, "I'll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razor Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary. So, now what do you think?" The honor guardsman answers: "Nice trade, Sir."

He v. She The family picture is on his desk - Ah, a solid, responsible family man. The family picture is on her desk - Um, her family will come before her career. His desk is cluttered - He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man. Her desk is cluttered - She's obviously a disorganized scatterbrain. He is talking with his co-workers - He must be discussing the latest deal. She is talking with her co-workers - She must be gossiping. He's not in the office - He must be meeting a customer. She's not in the office - She must be out shopping. He's having lunch with the boss - He's on his way up. She's having lunch with the boss - They must be having an affair.

"I'm having trouble with this new hearing aid," said the man to his audiologist. "Really? Can you describe the symptoms?" "Sure. Homer is fat and yellow, Marge has blue hair..."

Yo momma is so stupid, that she made a crack on the sidewalk and tried to smoke it!

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly? A: Because if it was small, white and hard it would be an aspirin.

An old Jewish man riding on a train begins to moan: "Oy, am I thirsty; oy, am I thirsty", to the annoyance of the other passengers. Finally, another passenger gets a cup of water from the drinking fountain and gives it to the old man, who thanks him profusely and gulps it down. Feeling satisfied, the other passenger sits down again, only to hear "Oy, was I thirsty; oy, was I thirsty".

"Big foot is blurry... that's the problem!"

What do you call a blind German? A not see!

Yo mama is so stupid she thinks these jokes are funny.

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt? To keep her legs closed

A blonde is like a door knob, everyone gets a turn!

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe." Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken." "No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."