Okay sooo.. I kinda stumbled across this "word" when I was actually at the sprint store with my x-boyfriend. He was talking about how he needed to get unlimited text messaging and I looked over with a very concerned look on my face and said, "Yardy Yar!" I believe everyone in the store was hysterical and looked at me as if I was some crazy redneck - it was hilarious. If you don't get it, it is supposed to sound like - "You already are." It's actually pretty dang funny if you say it out loud!! haha

A man was walking down a street when he sees a blonde couple who looked extremely happy. He goes up to them and asks: "Why are you guys so happy?" The couple says "We just finished a puzzle that took us 3 years!" "3 years!" the man said "It doesn't take that long to do a puzzle." "Oh yes it does" said the couple "It said so right on the side of the box 2 to 3 years...!"

A man goes to a fancy dress party, dressed from head to toe in green, carrying a woman on his back. The host asks, "What have you come as?" He replies, "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle!" The host says, "Why have you a woman on your back?" "Oh, that's Michelle," he replies. (My shell)

Yo mama is so old Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo mama so old her social security number is 1! Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Anyways, there was an assembly at school and they had us sit on bleachers inside the main gym. Then I notice one of my friends walk in and since there's a space next to me, I decide to call him over. But the thing is, his nickname is fire, because of his bright red hair. So I yell out FIRE! loud enough for him to hear me over the noise. Then I realize what I just did... everyone in my section of the bleachers just stared at me until a teacher came and pulled me off to the side for a little talk. This has been a Stupid Drunky Moment. (By the way, if you think I'm stupid, think about the other students. If someone yells fire, you run, you don't turn around and stare at him. Idiots.

A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of the tortoise section. Later, the keeper dropped by to see how the young man was doing and found him standing by an empty enclosure with the gate open. "Where are the tortoises?" he asked. "I can't believe it," said the new employee, "I just opened the door and whooooosh, they were gone!"

These four guys were walking down the street; a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker. A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?" The Saudi says, "What's 'shortage'?" The Russian says, "What's 'meat'?" The North Korean says, "What's 'opinion'?" The New Yorker, says, "'Excuse me'? What's 'excuse me'?"

Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk. When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order. Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?" Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath." Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?" Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."

Dickiedoo Disease: defined as the expansion of the adominal region of the human male to the point where it eliminates the view of the male's private part from its possessor. Translated into a more commonly used phrase "His belly sticks out further than his Dickiedoo! Also know as Abdominalius Humongus and in some cases where the male appendage is not very large, this condition is known as Male Apparatus Non-existus.

A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"

Why did the Irish people jump on the bartender? He said, "The drinks are on me."

Knock knock? Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Madame foot is stuck in the door!! (My damn foot is stuck in the door.)