A king and a queen were ruling a kingdom together, but they weren't friends at all. The king hated the queen, and the queen hated the king. The queen had a disorder, which had no name. When you asked her a two-way question (e.g. true or false) she will answer the word she heard last, so if you ask her, "Do you need water to live, true/false," you know what she'll answer. The city they ruled over was a bad city, there were crimes almost every hour. They had to be responsible over the town. One day, someone murdered the King's son, and was trying to find out who had done it. He announced to the town, "The one who killed my son, will be hanged, no matter who you are!" People searched and se

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk that although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel

When my oldest child was about three years old, we took a trip to a local fast food restaurant. I wearing my new favorite article of clothing: a pair of bright pink, elastic waist pants that I'd bought the day before. Although they were a little big on me, I instantly fell I love with them and just had to buy them. So there we were in a popular restaurant with me in my pretty pink pants and my son clinging firmly to his mommy's leg while we looked for a place to sit. It seems that grace does not run in our family, because before we were able to sit down, my son tripped and fell, taking my new pants with him! I could hear the laughter simmering as I stood there bare bottomed, with my hands fu

Put the characters C - D - I - M - L - V - X in the right order - but not alphabetical. I - V - X - L - C - D - M. Roman numerals.

A group of Texans are driving down the road, whooping it up, drinking beer and shooting off their guns when they get into an accident with busload of nuns and orphans, killing everyone. The Texans go straight to Hell. When they arrive the Devil is shocked to see that they are not in agony over the heat and he demands an explanation. "Well, sir, we're from Texas, and we're used to the heat," says one. This infuriates the Devil and he cranks the thermostat up to its highest setting. The lost souls all over hell start wailing. "I'll check on them in the morning and see how they like THIS." He snorts and disappears in a ball of fire. The next morning, the Devil shows up at the Texans' camp s

A girl named Zoey goes up to an artist and asks him to paint a picture of her face. "But Miss Zoey, if I paint a picture of your face then I can never be an artist again." "Why?" she asked. "Because if I look at your face too long, I will go blind."

I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint. At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote. I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.

Every man believes every woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While a recent sociological study verified this, what men don't realize is that, in women's fantasies, one man cooks while the other cleans!

They sat in the comer of Mulligan's refurbished bar, opposite a huge new floor-to-ceiling mirror. Suddenly Pat spotted their reflection across the room. "Mick! Mick!" he whispered. "Don't look now, but there's two fellas over there that's the image of us!" "In the name of God," said Mick, spotting the reflection, "and they're wearing identical clothes, too." "That does it," said Pat. "I'm gonna buy 'em a drink." Just as Pat rose from his seat, Mick stopped him. "Sit down, Pat! One of 'em's coming over here!"

Not sure if this is up yet but I haven't seen it so here it goes . . . A 30-year-old man suffers from massive MASSIVE headaches that dominate his life completely and cause him pain almost every single moment of every day. He's been going through this pain since he was around 20 and no doctor has ever been able to help him out in curing the pain though he has tried almost every pain killer, and several surgeries. One day a doctor calls him in to talk. The man expects another prescription of pain meds and what-not so he goes in, but he's shocked to find that this doctor has actually figured out what's wrong. "You see, sir," says the doctor, "You have a very very rare condition where yo

Since workaholics are people addicted to work and chocaholics are people addicted to chocolate, are catholics people addicted to cats?

Superman was bored one day; he goes to see Batman, and he asks, "Do you want to go save the world?" "Sorry" Batman said. "Spring cleaning at the Batcave," so Superman goes to see the Green Lantern. "You wanna save the world?" he asks. "Can't, ring has been acting up," Lantern said. Then, flying around the city, Superman sees Wonderwoman sitting on top of a building totally naked. Superman thinks to himself, knowing that he could fly down there, do his business and be gone before she realized what happened.(He doesn't last very long), so he decide to go for it, flies down, has his fun, and is gone. Wonderwoman asks, "What's wrong, Invisible Man?" "I don't know but my ass hurts like he