Popular Jokes
You Might Be a Redneck if you have a pond full of gasoline and a car wreck in the bottom of it.
Waiter, why is my food all mushed up?
-Well, you did ask me to step on it.
Waiter, these eggs are bad.
-Don't blame me. I only laid the table.
Waiter, is there soup on my menu?
-No, I wiped it off.
There was a family of gnus, and one day, Mr Gnu went out to get some food but was ambushed and eaten by a pride of lions.
Next salute, a poacher shoots Mrs Gnu, leaving poor Baby Gnu to starve to death.
Well, that's the end of the gnus; here's the weather . . .
Three friends decided to check out a room in a hotel, but before the man gave them their key he said, "In your room there is a window. If you jump out of it while wishing something outloud your wish will come true."
The three friends raced to their room, the first guy jumped out and said, "I wish for a big pile of money!" and landed in one. The second guy wished for a group of cheerleaders that would love him. He jumped out and landed in their arms. The third guy got a running start, tripped over the window frame and said, "Crap!" Let's just say he went back to wish for lots and lots of soap.
Yo Momma's so big, the Apollo 13 crashed into her head, right before it landed on the moon! Maybe that explains why she's so stupid.
So, Michael Jackson walks into a bar.
Oh, that looked like it hurt! It must have knocked his nose off!
Jerry, a college freshman, was sitting in his English class. His teacher noticed that he wasn't paying attention, so asked to see him after class. Jerry went up to the teacher's desk, and waited while the teacher was talking to a attractive freshman girl. When he was done, he said, "Jerry, why weren't you paying attention in my class?" "I was staring at the hot babe you were just talking to," Jerry said.
"But don't get any ideas," Jerry said, "you're way to old for her."
"Oh, really?" the teacher said. "Yeah, you're old enough to be her father!" said Jerry.
"This talk is over!" said the teacher. Jerry starts to walk out when the teacher says, "And by the way, Jerry, next class don't stare at
Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
Are your parents siblings?
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Don't you need a license to
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