Popular Jokes
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant!
Why did the blonde die in the helecopter crash?
She got cold so she turned off the fan!
How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She got ran over by the zamboni machine!
( Zambonis make the ice on skating rinks)
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree!
A blonde was taking a walk outside when a bird flew over her in the sky. When it suddenly dropped a load on her. What did she say?
Good thing my mouth was open or it would've hit me in the face!
A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ''If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.'' Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ''Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.''
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had sex with a cigarette machine in the Osaka airport.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck
A man was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it.
The man asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"
The little old man replied "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your shirt."
The man shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"
"OK, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about four miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you
TEACHER : There is a frog, ship is sinking, potatoes cost $10/kg, then what is my age?
STUDENT : 32 yrs!
TEACHER : How do you know?
STUDENT : Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
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