What do you call a Grizzly with no teeth? A gummy bear

Q.)Your child poops in their pants- what do you do? A.)Drop off the child at day-care and make them change it.

A Christian, playing an active role in his church's activites, backslided and started leading a wayward life. He was usually drunk most of the time and on one occasion, as he was staggering back home after leaving a beer parlor, he fell into a gutter. He staggered back up, put one leg inside the gutter and kept going like that until his pastor saw him. "What are you doing brother?" the pastor asked while pulling him out of the gutter. The drunk then started shouting, "I am healed, I am healed, praise the Lord." The embarrassed pastor then said, "I only pulled you out of the gutter," The drunk then stuttered, "Lord of Mercy, I thought I had been crippled by God."

You are a redneck if: You've ever carved a gunstock out of a bedpost.

An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked,so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved, "I love you, Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it,they took it home. There, she counted the money. It totaled fifty thousand dollars. Andy said, "We've got to give it back." Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the

"Doctor doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!" "I'll deal with you later!"

What kind of sneakers do chickens wear? Re-bok-bok-bok-bok-bok.

Knock, knock Who's there? Did you ever hear the joke about the broken pencil? Did you ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who? Nevermind, it's pointless.

After his recent stay in the hospital, Pa was particularly irritable, especially regarding food. At a nearby restaurant he stopped for a quick meal and the waiter provided a bowl of soup. As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen Pa stopped him, calling: "Waiter!" "Yes, sir, is there something wrong?" "The soup. Taste it," replied Pa. "I beg your pardon, sir?" "Taste it." "But, sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent." "Taste it," Pa persisted. "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients." "Taste it!" The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right, sir, I'll taste it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?" To which P

Did you hear about the smart blonde? Neither did I!

Here are some cute things kids thought up when asked to write about the moon (all the spelling mistakes are original!) The moon is a saterlight. A long time ago a big object hit the Moon and some of the moon fell off. If u look through a telliscope you can see big holes. There are big montines on the moon just like on Earth - they are some of the left-overs of the Moon in big lumps Neil Armstrong was the first person to step on the Moon. He had weights in his boots so he wouldn't fall off.

1 What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been spotted. 2 How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. 3 What's the blonde's cheer? "I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well... 4 What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Change. 5 How does a blonde moonwalk? She pulls down her panties and slides her butt along the floor!