Popular Jokes
There's this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, "What do you think you're doing?"
The drunk says, "I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I'm waiting on my house. Won't be long now, there goes my neighbor."
How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer.
Why is it better to be killed by a shark than by a lawyer?
Answer:
The shark would be brief.
Did you know that the goverment finds Native American chiefs more important than presidents? The new head on Mt. Rushmore is at least twice the size of the others. It's the head of an Indian!
Did you know... in Louisiana it is illegal to tie an alligator to a fire hydrant and leave it unattended? Really! It's true!
A boy was going to church on Sunday. His mom gave him $40 so that he could put $20 in the offering plate and use $20 to buy anything on the way. On his way to the church he lost the $40, so he went back to look for it. He found $20, then looked up and said, "God, here is mine. Go and look for yours!"
Mrs. Blondie, do swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you, god?
Yes I do.
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Q. Mrs. Blondie did you ever stay all night with this man in California?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Michigan?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.
An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked,so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved, "I love you, Sally."
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it,they took it home. There, she counted the money. It totaled fifty thousand dollars.
Andy said, "We've got to give it back." Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the
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