APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. 1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________ 2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.______ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________ 4. BOY SCOUT RANK____________________________________________________ 5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP _________ 6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________ If No., EXPLAIN ________________

A blonde walks into a casino and goes up to the craps table. She tells the dealers she wants to bet $10 000 on a single roll of the dice. The dealers figure that since shes a blonde, she must not know what shes doing, so they allow her to place the bet. Then the blonde starts to strip. The dealers ask her what shes doing and she replies, "I'm luckier when I'm naked. Hope ya don't mind." So she rolls the dice and jumps up and down screaming, "I WON! I WON! YAY!" She hugs the dealers and picks up her chips and clothes and jumps excitedly away. While enjoying the view of the blonde jumping away, the second dealer leans over and whispers to the first dealer, "What'd she roll?" The first dealer

Have you ever wondered..... Why Most homes have lots of windows in the house, how ever, more than half of them are usually covered up with blinds so people can't see you. If blind people can still see kindness in a person. Would they still have the same motto " No Shirt, No pants, No service" in a porn shop. Why on "children's tylonnel" they put " Do not drive right after you have taken this". Why Many packaged peanut bags will say " May contain traces of peanuts" on them? Will you be smarter if you eat smarties( canadian candy) Will you be dumber if you lift dumb bells AND FINALLY..... Will you be able to figure out how long you slept if you bring a ruler to bed with you?

Q: What's black, blue, brown and laying in a ditch? A: A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she looks at the menu and says, "OK"!

A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?" The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff. Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!" The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited. After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bu

Recent Canadian government research has shown that cigarette smoking not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage of the male sexual "equipment." Wow! If that is true, we need to get the word out ASAP! Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect this new information. How about something like this: * Warning!: These cigarettes are king size -- how about you? * Warning!: Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things getting smaller. * Warning!: If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you. * Warning!: Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon. * Warning!: Smoke rises, but you may not. * Warning!: Second-hand smok

In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert." A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert." The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

On clothes: do not iron while wearing. On a baby carriage: do not fold while in use.