A nurse was giving a patient a check up and came to the task of taking his temperature. So the patient came in and she told him to take his pants and boxers off so he hesitantly did so. She then put somthing in his butt. She had some time, so she went to the bank and was going to withdraw some cash. As she went to get her pen to sign the reciept, she took out the rectal themometer.

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? WELL HUNG

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: Because the chicken had the day off!

Yo mama so poor, she has to chase down the garbage truck with a shopping list!

What do you call when god takes a crap? Holy shit!

One day in the 1800's a father asked his child to go get some nuts and berries. She went around and got nuts and berries from every boy she knew. When she showed her dad he said, "That's not what I meant!"

Message from www.dating.com: Your dating ad has been on the net for 8 weeks without any answer! Do you rather want us to try one week without a picture?

Question: What is brown and sticky? Answer: A stick! Duh.

What disease frightens ghosts the most? BoOoOo-bonic Plague What's the difference between girl ghosts and boy ghosts? BoOoOo-bies

One day someone knocks on a blonde's door. She asks: "Who is it?" and the person answers: "It's me!" Then the blonde wonders, "Me?!?!?!"

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant! Why did the blonde die in the helecopter crash? She got cold so she turned off the fan! How did the blonde die ice fishing? She got ran over by the zamboni machine! ( Zambonis make the ice on skating rinks) How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree! A blonde was taking a walk outside when a bird flew over her in the sky. When it suddenly dropped a load on her. What did she say? Good thing my mouth was open or it would've hit me in the face!

Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex. Bill Clinton worries about getting sex from aides.