If love is blind is then why is lingerie so popular?

The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes: "Parking for drive-through customers only!"

A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex. To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately how often each person had sex. The last man in line was grinning from ear to ear. "Twice a day," the therapist guessed, but was surprised when the man said no. "Once a day, then?" Again the answer was no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." When the doctor asked, "Once a year?" the man finally said yes. The therapist was angry

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude, the young man said to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20, on one condition." Flabbergasted, the woman asked, "What is the condition?" The young man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The woman considered his proposition for a mom

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Bill says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack. Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?" "Steve's wife gave it to me." "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?" Bill says, "Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow.'" She said, "'No, I'm not a widow." And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?"

We've just been notified by Security that there have been six suspected terrorists working out of your office. Five of the six have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody. Our agent advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the sixth cell member, Bin Workin, at your office. Security is confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot. You are obviously not a suspect at this time

Bill went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, Bill's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, Bill went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial. The Consul after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told Bill, "My friend, the cost of sending of a body back to the States for burial is very very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000.00 dollars." The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains, normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.00 do

3 blondes caught a goldfish, and the fish said if they let her go she will grant them one wish each. The first blonde said: "I want to be smart." The second said: "I want to be smarter than her," and the third said: "I want to be the smartest." In the morning they woke up and the first blonde turned into a brunette, second black and the third one had become a man.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again... It was probably worth it.

Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition and Louella has been charged with a.... Misdewiener

Getting a new girlfriend is like joining the Army. You get a new haircut and new clothes, and all information is given to you on a need-to-know basis.

Q: What's green, has 3 eyes, sharp teeth, and blood on its face? A: I don't know, but it's on your shoulder!