Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country. I wonder what it means... 1. Grab a calculator. (You won't be able to do this one in your head) 2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code) 3. Multiply by 80 4. Add 1 5. Multiply by 250 6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number 7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again. 8. Subtract 250 9. Divide number by 2 Do you recognize the answer?

What happened when Ray Johnson fell off the Empire State Building? Now everyone calls him x-ray.

"What shall we play today?" Cori asked her best friend Judy. "Let's play 'school'!" said Judy. "Okay," said Cori, "But I'm going to be absent."

You might be a redneck if both you and your wife wore ponytails on your wedding day.

A couple enjoyed getting away from their high-stress jobs by spending weekends in their motor home, but their peace and quiet was often disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers. Finally, they found a way to assure themselves privacy. They painted a sign near their RV's door: "Ask us about our Whole Life policies!"

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. - Henny Youngman My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - George Burns What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. - Cindy Garner I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." - Henny Youngman Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henny Youngman People are always asking couples who

One day, Bob's class was assigned to write down everything they heard at home. When Bob got home, he heard his mom and dad fighting. "Shut up" he heard his dad say. Bob wrote that down. Next he went to his sister's room. She was chatting on-line. It just so happened that she said everything she typed. "Duh!" Bob heard her saying. Bob wrote that down. After that, he went to the living room were he heard his little brother saying, "Super Man!" Bob wrote that down. Last, he went near the bathroom were his grandpa was singing, "Every day, the whole day, in the bathroom." Bob wrote that down. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next day at school, The teache

A guy was walking around town with a frog growing out of his head. Another man walks up to him and ask him, "What happened to you?" The frog answered, "Well, it started as a wart on my ass."

- The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna. - Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines. - Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony. - All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants. - Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue. - Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco. - A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals. - Contralto is a low sort of mus

What does NASCAR stand for? Non Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks

How many dicks can a redneck girl take at a time? It depends on how many brothers she has.

Special Cheesecake One of my co-workers decided it was time to shed some excess weight. She took her new diet so seriously that she even changed her driving route to avoid her favorite bakery. One morning, however, she arrived at work carrying a gigantic cheesecake. We all scolded her, but her smile remained cherubic. "This is a very special cheesecake," she explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious cheesecakes, let me have a parking spot directly in front of the bakery', and sure enough," she continued, "the ninth time around the bl