A little girl is helping her mommy with the dishes when she notices that some of her hairs are gray. She asks her mom, "Why are some of your hairs gray?" The mom replies cleverly, "Whenever you make me cry or lie to me, one of my hairs turn gray." The girl thinks for a minute, and then asks, "Is that why all Grandma's hairs are gray?"

Why did the kid walk backwards to school? Because it was back to school day!

yo mama's so fat, she waz about 2 jump in the ocean, and the ocean jumped out and said u 1st.

Yo moma so fat, when she sat down, she sat next to Everyone!

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.

Mrs. Blondie, do swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you, god? Yes I do. ------------------------------------------------------------ Q. Mrs. Blondie did you ever stay all night with this man in California? A. I refuse to answer that question. Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Michigan? A. I refuse to answer that question. Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami? A. No.

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The owner says, "How about a dog?" The man replies, "A dog? That's so ordinary! And a dog can't do everything!" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!" The owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it -- a centipede!" The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything. But, okay ... I'll try a centipede." He gets the centipede home and says to it, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate. All the dishes and silverware ha

The FBI and the DEA are joining efforts and will be assigning some of their agents to a quasi-FBI/DEA enforcement team specifically targeting the illegal allergy pills sales that occur on the black market. The agents will be called "Pseudo Feds."

Yo momma so stupid she shoved a battery up her butt and yelled I've got the power

Q.What did one sheep call the other sheep who stole his food? A. a ba-a-astard

Yo momma is so fat she used the Grand Canyon as her sidewalk.

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one ha