Popular Jokes
Your momma so ugly she didn't even have to dress up for Halloween, and still scared everybody, and made some people say, "Nice costume!"
What is the most racist animal in the world?
A parrot bacause Polly wants a cracker not a nigger.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Zero: For all blondes know, the lightbulb is still burning bright.
A blond was stuck on an island. She could not get off, but there was an interesting structure on the island that intrigued her. It was a building with a small hole running through the bottom of it, and a bit away from it was a small hole, about five inches in diameter. She realized that there was no food on the island. She was stuck there for two days when the intendent came out and said, "Ma'am, the pedestrians here would appreciate it if you would get off of the Western Golf Course for awhile."
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They have finally started practicing safe sex in Scotland...
They now paint red X's on the sheep that kick
1 What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
Air bubbles!
2 What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
An air mattress.
3 What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
She moved.
4 What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
Third Grade.
5 Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
Because she loved children.
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.
Finally the wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
One night a man and his wife were lying in bed and she was complaining that his penis was small and asked why he didn't do something about it.
The next night thay were in bed and she reached between his legs and gasped, "How did it get so big?"
Husband said, "Simple, I went to the hospital and had an operation."
The wife replied, "What kind of operation?"
The husband said, "I had an addadicktome!"
A Catholic man was struck by a bus on a busy street. He was near death lying on the sidewalk as a crowd gathers.
"A priest! Somebody please get me a priest!" the man gasped. Minutes dragged on and no one stepped out of the crowd.
A policeman checked the crowd and finally yelled, "A PRIEST, PLEASE! Isn't there a priest in this crowd to give this man his last rites?"
Finally, out of the crowd stepped a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age. "Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest, I'm not even a Christian, but for fifty years now I've been living behind the Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I overhear their services. I can recall a lot of it, and m
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