Popular Jokes
One bright day in the middle of the night,
2 dead boys got up to fight
back to back they faced each other,
drew their knives,
and shot each other.
a deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came to kill those two dead boys.
if you don't believe my stories true,
ask the blind guy, he saw it to!
Yo mamma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mamma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mamma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mamma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mamma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
THESE ARE REAL NOTES FROM A REAL CHILLI COOK OFF
Notes from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the east coast:
"Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chilli # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room.
She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
(This is from my friend, Mitchell. It was very funny at first when we first heard him say it at lunch, and I figured I would share it.)
Yo Momma's so fat, she ate a grenade and the explosion didn't even make it out!
Q: What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree, can kill you?
A: A pool table.
When a cop stops you he gives you a ticket,when a cop stops me he gives me his number.
What does the male centipede say to the other male centipede when a female centipede walks by?
That's a nice pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs, pair of legs.....
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