Popular Jokes
Halfway along a commercial flight, a stewardess spoke out to the surprised passengers,
"Ladies and gentlemen! We have the honor to announce that you happen to be aboard the 10,001st flight of Good Grace Airlines! To celebrate this historic event, we are glad to give each of you a special valuable gift."
The passengers immediately broke into a cheerful applause, congratulating each other on the sudden luck they had. Then one man said aloud,
"This is really exciting! But why didn't you choose the 10,000th flight? I suppose it's a better number for a celebration."
"Certainly we did," replied the stewardess, "but unfortunately, because that flight crashed, we decided to shift the celebration
It was opening night at the theatre and people came from miles around to see the the very famous hypnotist do his stuff.
As the hypnotist took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The people had heard of the famous magic of the hypnotist, so the excitement was almost electric as he withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chant
One day Bob (a boy) went to Sally (a beautiful girl). Bob told her, "Sal, Jack (a boy) wants you."
She replied, "I know."
They stand in silence for a while.
Bob finally said, "I mean he needs your help."
"Oh."
Name:_________
1. Finish this pattern: a,_,c,d,e,f (hint, B)
2. If you are standing, what are you doing? (hint, standing)
3. Finish the sentence: I am a blond______
4. Explain Einstein's theory, or spell cat
5. Are you writing with a pen/pencil or a tissue? (hint pen/pencil)
6. Spell the word chicken
Two elderly women were eating at a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field. "Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?"
The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, "Because it is an ocean of wheat."
The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field. "It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name."
The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders an
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning, the two priests went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help but stare but when she passed them she turned to them, smiled and said, "Good morning, Father; good morning, Father," nodding and addre
Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his house.
"Sorry, that's against the law," says the desk sergeant.
"You don't get it," says the man. "I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.
Home
