Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt. Just then a guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?" Osama replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel."

If you are inventing something, the best way for it to work is to give it a job.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both were shot in the head. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners. Both successors were named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson,

How many Wocka users does it take to change a lightbulb? A: All of 'em. One to hold the lightbulb and the rest to argue if this is funny or not.

-How do you deal with mice in the Kremlin? -Put up a sign saying "collective farm". Then half the mice will starve and the others will run away.

Man- "Jesus Christ! I can't open this hard drive." Jesus- "Use the torx, Luke."

It's so easy, it makes pie look hard.

An actual headline: "Include Your Children When Baking Cookies"

An actual headline: "Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers"

A trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road, so he decides to pull over. On approaching the door he reads a sign: "NO NERDS". He shrugs it off and enters. He is greeted by the end of a shotgun barrel in his face. "Are you a nerd?" the bartender asks. "No, I'm a truck driver", he replies. He's allowed to come in, so he orders a cup of coffee, sits at the bar and drinks it. While he drinks his coffee, a man walks in wearing his pants up to his chest, a plaid shirt, pocket protector and thick-framed glasses. The bartender pulls out his shotgun and blows him away. "What the hell did you do that for!?" A

A blonde was swerving all over the road, driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener."

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. "Help, help!" yelled one of the blondes. "Help us, help us!" yelled the other. "Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde. "Good idea," said the other. "Together, together!" they yelled.