Popular Jokes
How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
0. No lightbulbs want to torture their own kind!
Ben never saw action on his high school football team. One day, the assistant coach gave him a pep talk.
"Remember, Ben," he told him, "everyone on this team has an important role. There is no 'I' in 'team'."
"True," said the boy. "But there is a 'Ben' in 'bench'."
One day, a Democrat was on vacation. He was walking along the beach, when he hit his toe on a hard object, and looking down, he saw a small, shiny golden lamp sticking out of the sand.
Excited, he grabbed the lamp, and rubbed its side. A genie appeared from the lamp and said, "Thank you for releasing me. You may have three wishes. But I am a Republican genie; whatever you wish for, every Republican will get two of tomorrow morning."
The Democrat nodded, and said, "I'd like a shiny new car." The genie said, "Your wish is granted. Every Republican ill have two new shiny cars in their driveways tomorrow morning;" and a new car appeared next to them.
"I want a million dollars," said the Demo
Knock-knock?
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue!
Little Boy Blue Who?
Michael Jackson!
If you don't get it, read the title.
If you still don't get it, pm me.
If you STILL DON'T GET IT, you're an asshole
A Frenchman, a German and a Jew walk into a bar. "I'm tired and thirsty," says the Frenchman. "I must have wine." "I'm tired and thirsty," says the German. "I must have beer." "I'm tired and thirsty," says the Jew. "I must have diabetes."
Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
A man goes into a shoe store and asks to try on a pair of shoes. They were a bit snug.
"Well, they feel a bit tight," says the man.
The salesman bends down and feels around. He suggests pulling the tongue out, then asks, "How do they feel now?"
"Well, dey shtill feel a bit thight"
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