yo momma is so old --- she knew Burger King when he was a prince! yo momma is so poor --- I saw her banging on the dumpster and I asked her what she was doing and she said "My kids locked me out!"

Yo mama so ghetto, her wedding cake was made out of cornbread.

Q: Did you hear the story about the peacock? A: It's a beautiful tail.

A man is up on stage telling blonde jokes, and the crowd is eating them up. Suddenly a blonde steps up in the back and starts cursing the man because of him telling the derogatory jokes. To stop him, he offers her the deal of her answering 5 multiple-choice questions. If she can answer them correctly, he'll get off the stage and never tell another blonde joke. She agrees and he starts questioning her. "1) How long was the 100 yr war? A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150" The blonde says "I will skip this" The man continues, "2) In which country are the Panama hats made? A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR" The blonde asks for help from any university students near her, and then skips the questio

Patient: "It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth." Dentist: "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

A farmer is going down the road with his horse pulling his wagon and his dog lying next to 'em. The farmer says, "It sure is hot out here." The horse turns back and says, "It sure is." The farmer says, "I didn't know horses could talk." The dog said, "Neither did I."

You know your joke is bad when.... - All the comments rated -2 or less are the ones that say they actually like it. - There AREN'T any comments at all. - People ask if you are boring in real life. - It was so "not funny", that it was actually funny. And last but not least - There are absolutly NO duplicates of your joke because it was so bad. (I wonder if I can say the same for this)

You know you're a redneck if a city night on the town includes city jail.

1) What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? "Have another beer." 2) What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? The blonde works in the dark! 3) How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Scroll down... Scroll up... 4) So a blonde is walking down the street and she stops to ask a man the time, he says "O, it's uhh...4:45." The blonde responds, "Man, I've been asking that question all day and I get a different answer every time! 5) Superman, Batman, and a smart blonde all died on the same day.Which one got to Heaven first? None of them.They are all make-believe.

1 Why don't blondes eat bananas? They can't find the zipper. 2 Why don't blondes use vibrators? They chip their teeth. 3 Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? Cause their balls show. 4 Why don't a blondes eyes fall out of her when she stands? The vacuum in her head keeps them in place. 5 What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?" "No, I just lie there."

What happens to a scone when you have eaten it? It's scone.

A newfie is walking down Yonge street in Toronto and sees a store front. The only thing inside are 2 guys sitting on stools. The newfie walks in and says "Hey what are you guys selling?" The one guy, recognizing the accent as being newfie, says "we're selling assholes!" The newfie responds "HOLY SHIT! Business must be good; you only have 2 left!!