Popular Jokes
In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing lady. Conversation broke out and turned erotic. The lady proposed, "If each of you would give me $1, I would show you my legs." The men, charmed by her beauty, handed over the money. The lady pulled her dress up a little to show her legs.
She followed, "If each of you would give me $10, I would show you my thighs." Driven by lust, the men forked out the money and the lady pulled up her dress more to show her thighs.
The men, getting excited, pulled off their coats. The lady then said, "If each of you would give me $100, I would show you where I had my appendicitis operated on." The men, being men, naturally surrendered their money for
Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
Q: Please state the nature of your relationship to the minor child?
A: I'm his mother.
Q: And you have been so all of his life?
Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A: It indicates intercourse.
Attorney Q: Male sperm?
A: That is the only kind I know.
Q: Doctor, as a result of your examination of the plaintiff, is the young lady pregnant?
A: The young lady is pregnant ? but not as a result of my examination.
Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews
had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from
the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would
have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish
community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews
would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the
Jews would have to leave.
The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe,
to represent them in the debate. Rabbi Moishe, however, could
not speak Latin and the Pope could not speak Yiddish. So it
was decided that this would be a "silent" debate.
On the day of the great debate, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe
sat opposite each other for a full m
A woman went to shop for a mirror when she chanced upon an expensive one. When she asked why, the salesman told her it was magical, that if you recited a rhyme in front of it, your wishes would come true. The woman bought it and hung it on the door at home.
Mirror Mirror on the door
Make my busts a forty-four
The woman instantly had a huge chest. She told her husband but he was in doubt. He went to the mirror then and said:
Mirror Mirror on the door
Make my penis hit the floor
His legs were missing, leaving stumps mid-thigh.
Q: What is a man's idea of helping you with the housework?
A: Lifting up his legs so you can vacuum underneath them.
What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; if ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"
"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied his mother.
The young boy answered, "The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he'd like to screw the tail off his secretary."
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out, so he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not." God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion."
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true, the Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."
God was not pleased, so He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good,
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